We do not find friends; we make them.
Some years ago, during a retreat, I met a senior woman from another state, and we hit it off right away. Our friendship grew as we shared our lives, struggles, and pursuits. We remain connected to this day. She was, as R.L. Stevenson would say, "a friend I gave myself."
We must choose our friends with care—for we often become like those we surround ourselves with! Some people come into our lives and quietly go. Others stay awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same.
I have always been fascinated by the friendship between David and Jonathan in the Bible. They were strikingly loyal to each other, despite the vast difference in status and the political danger surrounding them. King Saul’s son “Jonathan became one in spirit with David,” loving him as himself (1 Sam 18:1). Jonathan grieved over the shameful way his father Saul treated David. Spurred by jealousy, Saul even attempted to kill young David. Yet Jonathan always defended his friend. At Jonathan’s death, David mourned deeply: “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant have you been to me; your love to me was wonderful!”
Job’s friends visited him at the height of his suffering: no herds, no house, no family, and on top of it all, a painful illness eating away at his flesh (Job 2:11–13). They sat with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights without saying a word. Though they meant well when they later tried to explain his situation logically, their words lacked compassion and offered little consolation to a man in agony. Yet when the Lord restored Job with twice as much as he had before, we see Job pray for his friends (Job 42:7–10).
“Entreat me not to leave you or to return from following you; for where you go, I will go,” said the widowed Ruth to her mother-in-law Naomi (Ruth 1:16). Against all practical judgment, Ruth chose to accompany Naomi to a new land. Her fidelity did not go in vain. Because she was faithful, God blessed Ruth with a wonderful husband and abundant material riches. Ruth and Naomi remained inseparable, proving that friendship can overcome even family hardships.
Jesus remained a faithful friend to his apostles and to others, like Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. His loyalty endured betrayal, denial, desertion, and misunderstanding. Still, he reiterated his loving trust: “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends” (John 15:15). Understanding, patience, and forgiveness are essential to cultivate and nurture meaningful friendships.
St. Paul treasured and valued friendships. In every letter, he included personal greetings to the people he had ministered to. His example encourages us to cherish friends who enrich our lives, strengthen our faith, and help turn our houses into homes.
We need people far more than we need possessions. “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together,” said Woodrow T. Wilson. As we prepare to celebrate International Friendship Day on August 3, may we take a moment to thank God for the gift of friends—and resolve to keep our friendships alive and connected, whether in person or through digital platforms.
(Severina Peres, a retired banking professional, who lives in Mumbai, contributes regularly to Catholic magazines and is involved in ministry to senior citizens.)
