After noticing that he hadn’t come for breakfast, the other priests waited for nearly an hour. Then two of them decided to go to his room in the other block to find out. Even before they could knock at his door, they saw, to their shock and dismay, a crimson stain creeping out from under the door. It was blood. What happened after that revealed that that the young priest, in his early forties, who was staying there for nearly a month had vomited blood. He had come for treatment for liver cirrhosis, as he was addicted to alcohol.
When you hear the confessions of young priests and seminarians there is something new, something you hardly heard ten years ago: addiction to online pornography. All such addictions, as we know well, bring a host of problems that impact our body, psyche and soul. An addiction is any pleasure that becomes an obsession, a mental preoccupation which leads to a compulsive behavior.
Have you heard of a book called ‘Dopamine Nation’ written by Dr Anna Lembke? Dr Anna Lembke is the medical director of Stanford Addiction Medicine and chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. In the ‘Introduction’ she explains the problem: We all engage in behaviors we wish we didn’t – feeling compelled to do things we regret later. The problem is compulsive over-consumption. In the ‘Conclusion’ she offers the lessons we need to learn and follow in order to maintain the balance. The sub-title of the book, actually, is: ‘Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence’.
She affirms that the relentless pursuit of pleasure leads to pain and that recovery begins with abstinence. If you find the wisdom and the strength to abstain from what you are addicted to, then even simple pleasures like watching a sun set and counting the stars in the night sky can bring us joy.
In order to be able to abstain, you may need what Lembke calls ‘self-binding’. It is intentionally and willingly creating barriers between ourselves and whatever we are addicted to. A good example is what Odysseus did. He asked his crew to tie him to the mast of his ship so that he is not lured by the song of the Sirens.
Along with ‘self binding’, Lembke recommends what she calls ‘radical honesty’. Radical honesty is telling the truth about our addictions, admitting our failures and foibles. It promotes awareness and enhances intimacy, says Lembke. A long time ago, James, the apostle, said, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)
Shame makes us feel bad about ourselves as individuals, whereas guilt makes us feel bad about our actions, while preserving a positive sense of self. If we practice radical honesty and admit all our failures, others may respond in two different ways. If they respond by rejecting, condemning, or shunning us, that becomes destructive shame. If, on the other hand, others respond by holding us closer and providing clear guidance for redemption or recovery, we are on the path to recovery. It is this that helps us stop or reduce the harmful, addictive behavior.
St. Paul seems to have understood the nature of addiction. “I do not understand what I do. For I do not do what I want to do, but I do what I don’t want to do” (Romans 7:15). But he affirms that he will not be a slave to any compulsive behavior. "I will not be mastered by anything," he says in 1 Corinthians 6:12. Like the great St. Paul, “we need to stand firm, and not let ourselves be burdened by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1)
