(In this “November Special Series,” RVA’s writers share memories of loved ones they have lost, a celebration of their lives, recalled with a tinge of sadness and the hope that one day there will be a reunion…… in a place where there is no death, no suffering, and where God Himself will wipe away every tear. – Editor)
Everyone is familiar with the Parable of the Prodigal Son, found in Lk 15:11–32. This parable has fascinated many over the centuries. But, in the story, was the son the prodigal, or the father, or both?
A couple of years ago, I was working on an article on The Return of the Prodigal Son, based on the famous painting by the noted artist Rembrandt, when my father passed away. Acha is how we fondly called him.
The painting, one of the last ever done by Rembrandt more than four centuries ago, huge in size at 103 inches by 80 inches, hangs in the St. Petersburg Museum, Russia. You can check out images of this painting on the internet. Even after so many centuries, it speaks to you. It shows an emaciated prodigal son being welcomed by his father. In the background, the elder son and two other figures are seen. The spotlight is mainly on the barefoot, kneeling prodigal son and the patient, caring, red-robed father placing both his hands (one is painted as masculine and the other feminine) on the shoulders of the prodigal son.
Scholars suggest that Rembrandt portrayed his own face as the Prodigal Son in this painting, created many years after he had depicted himself as a younger man with his wife in The Prodigal Son in the Tavern. The intervening years had deeply marked him, with the loss of loved ones, as well as his fame and fortune.
This painting has captivated so many over the years. Fr. Henri Nouwen, the Dutch Catholic priest, theologian, and spiritual writer, had a life-changing experience upon encountering a print of this painting. He travelled all the way to Russia to spend some time with the original work and wrote The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming, a spiritual classic.
While I was in the middle of writing the article on the Parable of the Prodigal Son, my father passed away suddenly. He had the habit of taking twice-monthly home retreats, spending time in silence in his room, following the Ignatian spiritual exercises he had learned from the Jesuits over the years. On going through his extensive retreat notes thereafter, I found that in his retreat undertaken just two weeks before he passed, he had written:
“Lord, I know You will never stop being merciful to me. Your love and loyalty will always keep me safe. Only because of the Lord’s kindness and mercy, I am what I am today. His mercy is following me throughout my life.”
My father understood the role of the Lord’s mercy in his life, and his life was secure and happy, knowing that the Lord’s mercy had given him everything. After our mother’s death, my father’s right hand became our mother’s tender hands, and his left hand the reassuring hand of a father. With prodigal abandon, he cared for us, never making us feel the absence of a mother, but always strengthening us with the discipline that is fitting for a father.
I am privileged to have had such a father. I wrote on my Facebook page a few days after he passed:
“A week ago today, I lost my Dad, my lodestar, my safety net in life. He was the prodigal father and loved me much more than I ever deserved, giving me everything I ever wanted. Today, when I went to the office for the first time, the seat beside me in the car — the one he used to occupy — was vacant. I miss him. Yet, I am thankful to the Almighty for giving me such a wonderful father who stood right by me for so many years through all the ups and downs in life. Dad, continue to guide me from up there...”
I meant every word I said in the brief note.
I have been the prodigal son many times in my life, but my father was the prodigal father who always welcomed me back and gave me everything I wanted. Through my father, I can envisage what God must look like. Truly, “The Lord is my Shepherd; there is nothing I shall want” (Ps 23).
But am I the prodigal father to my own children, as my father was to me?
Or do I behave like the elder brother, with resentment, anger, and unforgiveness, when they come back to me?
I realize I need to work a lot on myself; I need to be a loving father always. My earthly father and my heavenly Father show me what I must do to become a prodigal father myself.
Lord, please help me to become a prodigal father!
